tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7716266031006082752.post3321584094858209793..comments2023-03-25T05:04:22.774-04:00Comments on Coping with SIDS: Remembering Toby and Forgetting Other ThingsAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06978106493173201688noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7716266031006082752.post-82589054896334332682011-04-11T02:17:40.472-04:002011-04-11T02:17:40.472-04:00At the Gathering last summer, I remember thinking ...At the Gathering last summer, I remember thinking how you and Pete held Toby all the time. He was hardly ever put down during the day, even to sleep. And he had more costume changes than Celene Dion. Every time I looked at him, he was wearing some different adorable outfit. Thank you for letting me hold him.<br /><br />In the end, most of us are not remembered by many people, really. But I don't think I will ever forget little Toby, mainly because of how you and Pete doted on him.Lesliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16029227895950346579noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7716266031006082752.post-6407622491241895612011-04-10T23:40:12.887-04:002011-04-10T23:40:12.887-04:00I'll say the same thing I said on your blog en...I'll say the same thing I said on your blog entry...<br /><br />I am glad that you had that time with him, too. I remember you bringing back my camera and the video that you had recorded of him and me and the nurse sat there and looked at them over and over. They didn't let me hold him but for a minute after he was born because they whisked him off to NICU so that was really the first time I had seen him. I was so happy that he was okay. Sometimes I think about the fact that when they handed him to me he was crying and the first thing I said to him was, "I promise things will get better." And then they didn't. <br /><br />Everyone seemed so concerned with getting their opinions in, getting the attention turned back to them, and telling us how wrong we are/were in the way that we do things that sometimes I do feel like Toby is forgotten. <br /><br />But really, it doesn't matter if family and friends have forgotten about him or didn't act interested in him to begin with. I don't think we could have loved him anymore than we did and that's all that really matters.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06978106493173201688noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7716266031006082752.post-69766835850981964012011-04-10T09:33:34.988-04:002011-04-10T09:33:34.988-04:00It's getting hard for me to remember. i don...It's getting hard for me to remember. i don't have the best memory as you know, but it's also just more difficult sometimes to not see some things that are the worst moments. I do go back to those times I visited him in the nursery just after he was born. The first time I took a camera ad photographed every inch of him so you could see he was okay. You'd sent me because you were getting more and more worried he wasn't due to the birth and being premature. I took some of his feet, his hands, everything perfect, thinking they were for you. I think to, they were for me. The moment I saw him there I new he was fine, I stopped worrying. he was peaceful, and looking around even with that gel they put on new baby's eyes. I tried to let him hold my finger but Toby wasn't into that too much yet. After taking the photos I stood there and talked to him, half quiet, half silent because I was very aware of the two nurses on the other side of the small, L shaped room. I felt the worst was over, that he was here. It was a nice moment, an one I knew I had to savor. He would be brought out to us soon, into the world again from the stately, this time, of the nursery, and he would belong to you as well then, and slowly as he got older, like Sam, he would begin to become other peoples as well. For that moment he was just mine, and I know that's selfish, knew it then, but I wanted it. For those six weeks he became ours and ours alone, I enjoy that as well. But for 6 minutes he was mine, and we talked. Sometimes what makes me upset the most, and it changes on a daily bases, is realizing the promises I made to him during those six minutes were all broken. But they were good while they lasted.KYenglishhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10507613177862488876noreply@blogger.com