tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7716266031006082752.comments2023-03-25T05:04:22.774-04:00Coping with SIDSAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06978106493173201688noreply@blogger.comBlogger516125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7716266031006082752.post-65534949738343189862014-07-08T17:58:03.055-04:002014-07-08T17:58:03.055-04:00I understand completely. People don't understa...I understand completely. People don't understand that have not had it happen. I am a Christian and so is my husband. We know we will see our son and daughter again. But I agree that you never get over it you just learn to live with it. We lost our daughter in 1965 and our son in 1968. We have 4 beautiful daughters and we thank the Lord for them. My grandson lost his 2nd son in 2011 from sids. The Lord blessed him with a healthy boy and girl since then.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03002085141986693768noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7716266031006082752.post-68838439455686728052014-05-20T12:59:19.422-04:002014-05-20T12:59:19.422-04:00I lost my daughter on May 30,1988 of SIDS. I was o...I lost my daughter on May 30,1988 of SIDS. I was only 18 and a single mom. Rhiannon, my daughter died next to me in bed. I was supposed to wake up at 4 am to feed her. She had a low sugar level. I either slept through the alarm or it didn't go off. I am still bothered by the nightmares of her blue, me screaming, CPR, ambulances. 20 yrs later I lost my 15 yr old son in a car accident just 400 yrds from my house. I was driving. The nightmares of losing my baby intertwined with those of losing my son. Trauma is so hard to deal with.momof72nheavenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02584431049962831306noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7716266031006082752.post-38977597647953118222014-03-29T22:06:48.927-04:002014-03-29T22:06:48.927-04:00I appreciate you posting such a thoughtful, detail...I appreciate you posting such a thoughtful, detailed comment. There are lots of theories as to what SIDS may be and, honestly, I have to say that I have also wondered about choking myself. My son had severe acid reflux and I know several other infants who died from SIDS who also suffered from it. <br /><br />I think you have a very valid point about babies sleeping on their backs. Although I am not vocal about this because it can start heated debates, when I had my subsequent child I was not crazy about putting her on her back. She mostly slept on her side. I was right there with her, though. I wasn't sleeping with her-I wasn't even asleep! I stayed awake and worked through the night and literally watched her sleep for her first year. She's the best sleeper we had. <br /><br />My gut feeling is that there are probably several things that fall under the "SIDS" umbrella. It might be a low serotonin level, it could be a defect in the brain stem for some babies, and (who knows) perhaps it is something to do with regurgitation for others. It's definitely an area that needs more research, however, and hopefully science will one day find the cause and we won't know such a thing. <br /><br />I am so glad that your little one is okay. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06978106493173201688noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7716266031006082752.post-23098444320843481652014-03-14T04:41:39.820-04:002014-03-14T04:41:39.820-04:00My name is Armando. My wife recently had our firs...My name is Armando. My wife recently had our first baby. She breastfed baby for the first six days. on the 6th day our dr told us it was okay to pump and bottle feed. Baby did fine all day in her rocker (where she was slightly sitting up). We quickly noticed that baby ate more from the bottle, also that baby slept more soundly throughout the day. We thought great! So before bedtime, we fed baby from the bottle, burped her like normal, and laid her down flat in her crib about 45 minutes after she was burped. Definitely long enough to let her food settle. Being she is our first baby, I was up for every movement baby made, didn't bother her or anything, just let her sleep as she got comfortable. about 20 minutes in, I noticed her breathing was starting to sound like she had fluid in her throat. not a lot, she was still breathing, but it got worse pretty quick. within about five minutes I had her in my hands slapping her back getting the fluid out. she started breathing again after that, but it took her a few minutes to recover, then she was finally able to let out a cry. <br /><br />All studies say that babies that are breastfed are less likely to die from SIDS. All studies say that suffocation seems to be common in autopsies. over HALF of baby deaths are a result of SIDS. <br /><br />Now my questions and concerns start. I am sure there is a perfectly good reason drs have told the world to lay baby flat on her back for bed time. but, have you ever ate something or especially drank something and laid on your back, straight on your back? it comes back up! No matter what age. Imagine if you had a full enough stomach to put you to sleep.<br /><br />Mommies do not send out an incredible amount of milk when breastfed, it is no wonder to me why babies that are breastfed are more likely to stay alive. they dont have enough in their tummy to be full. everything that I have read on the studies seem to point to babies choking up their food. and that night was validation enough. maybe people do not find it in the autopsy because by the time baby is in the autopsy, everyone has turned the baby in every direction trying to figure out what is wrong, the milk goes back down.<br /><br />Baby will sleep in rocker tonight where she will be slightly sitting until we find a solution. maybe tilting her bed down an inch or two so her head is above her feet? that leads to many other problems as you can lead on to. What about not laying her flat on her back not so soon after? well If most babies are under age 1, maybe ever 45 minutes is not enough, as it wasn't for our little girl. Thank God we caught it.<br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7716266031006082752.post-74331275221447474372013-12-31T19:58:22.154-05:002013-12-31T19:58:22.154-05:00My grandson passed of SIDS August 2012. I'll n...My grandson passed of SIDS August 2012. I'll never understand why. I'm so sorry for your loss. God Bless You all. sf5https://www.blogger.com/profile/14940023786040507406noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7716266031006082752.post-22344001433595383492013-12-31T19:56:25.232-05:002013-12-31T19:56:25.232-05:00My grandson died august 2012. I have a constant qu...My grandson died august 2012. I have a constant question...the unanswerable WHY. sf5https://www.blogger.com/profile/14940023786040507406noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7716266031006082752.post-26868807586678390362013-12-11T07:36:09.552-05:002013-12-11T07:36:09.552-05:00Thank you for sharing your heartbreaking story of ...Thank you for sharing your heartbreaking story of your sweet Toby. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7716266031006082752.post-56920693219806545082013-12-09T00:17:47.246-05:002013-12-09T00:17:47.246-05:00Thank you for sharing. I'm also a mommy whose ...Thank you for sharing. I'm also a mommy whose baby died from sids. u never get over it ya just learn to live with the constant pain and wondersAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7716266031006082752.post-78613728733988570092013-11-24T16:10:57.987-05:002013-11-24T16:10:57.987-05:00We in the SIDS community are very aware of the vac...We in the SIDS community are very aware of the vaccine theory and I have written about it extensively on this blog. The fact is, however, more research is still necessary. My son did not die from vaccine related reasons. He had not yet had his immunizations-they were scheduled for the week that he passed away. Many other parents that I am friends with who also lost their children to SIDS before the 2 month mark (when infants normally get the dTap which is the vaccination in question) would also be exempt from this theory. <br /><br />We can't rule anything out at this point but I'm also not going to be responsible for pushing any theories that may or may not hold up yet. I firmly stand behind Dr. Kinney and her research at the Boston Children's Hospital. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06978106493173201688noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7716266031006082752.post-51152979982290046962013-11-24T13:40:58.150-05:002013-11-24T13:40:58.150-05:00What if they had the answers already and hid it fr...What if they had the answers already and hid it from you because it would mean thousands upon thousands of lawsuits? Take a look at this “scientific proof” and tell me why his research was ignored for all these years when it could have saved thousands of kids and suffering family members. This isn't the latest greatest scientific “theory” this is in your face, undeniable fact that this is the main cause of the cases of SIDS we see today. Learn, share and save from now on. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=32D_nIGtSnw&list=PLRE3O2W6rjxnlQwws8emevWQOk7l9C9BG <br />ChelseaRenenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7716266031006082752.post-59587233587007942642013-10-12T18:02:48.171-04:002013-10-12T18:02:48.171-04:00Amazing achievement to get such an important book ...Amazing achievement to get such an important book published Rebecca - I hope you raise zillions for SIDS research too xSusanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08189847375191755096noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7716266031006082752.post-55630597347089047482013-09-17T10:24:12.656-04:002013-09-17T10:24:12.656-04:00Rebecca,
I feel like every day in some small way I...Rebecca,<br />I feel like every day in some small way I hold back the "truth" about my experience. And then one of those bad days comes along. And suddenly it's all out there!<br />You can find my blog at www.the38day.wordpress.com<br />I'd love some feedback from a fellow loss mom!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08556172223511982496noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7716266031006082752.post-55536627427186199752013-09-17T10:23:46.139-04:002013-09-17T10:23:46.139-04:00Rebecca,
I feel like every day in some small way I...Rebecca,<br />I feel like every day in some small way I hold back the "truth" about my experience. And then one of those bad days comes along. And suddenly it's all out there!<br />You can find my blog at www.the38day.wordpress.com<br />I'd love some feedback from a fellow loss mom!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08556172223511982496noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7716266031006082752.post-48578140450986750752013-09-13T16:03:17.065-04:002013-09-13T16:03:17.065-04:00Amber, thank you so much for your comment. Some da...Amber, thank you so much for your comment. Some days are better than others. I'm actually doing a bit better now than I was but there are still periods when I just have to let it all out, you know? This was one of those times. I would love to read your blog. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06978106493173201688noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7716266031006082752.post-86279613241452496682013-09-10T20:51:41.675-04:002013-09-10T20:51:41.675-04:00I just found your blog, and I want to say thank yo...I just found your blog, and I want to say thank you for being so honest! I lost a child at 18 months 6 years ago and just finally starting being honest about the experience. I've been keeping a blog myself, and find it very therapeutic. I'd be happy to share it with you if you're interested. I can't tell how much I appreciate finding other moms out there experiencing the same things I am. Thinking good thoughts for you and your family!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08556172223511982496noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7716266031006082752.post-29799715073214609752013-09-08T00:37:30.668-04:002013-09-08T00:37:30.668-04:00Lisa, this is a very fragile subject matter here. ...Lisa, this is a very fragile subject matter here. You'll find people on both sides of the line. I'm not sure how I feel about it myself. However, if my son had gotten his immunizations within 48 hours of HIS shots you can bet which side of the line I would fall on, no doubt about it. <br /><br />If you study the dTap paperwork, you can see where it lists SIDS as a possible "reaction." <br /><br />Opposers to this say that they have to list this because it *has* happened in the past but that there aren't any real studies to prove that they are associated. Doctors and researchers say that the link just doesn't exist. Parents whose children have died following the shots and truly believe the shot caused SIDS (and, of course, not all of them do) are adamant that the the link is truly there. Many do therefore delay it until their subsequent child is at least a year old. <br /><br />I am so sorry about the loss of your son. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06978106493173201688noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7716266031006082752.post-6635614158500678012013-09-07T21:42:10.873-04:002013-09-07T21:42:10.873-04:00My son died at 7 weeks - his cause of death was di...My son died at 7 weeks - his cause of death was diagnosed as epiglottitis; however, it was very similar to SIDS as he was healthy, went to sleep, and was dead when we awoke.<br /><br />I am shocked though to read about the shots and the correlation to SIDS because Ryan, my son, had his shots the day before and I've known all along they had to be tied to it, but was told no by all the doctors. I don't often heard anybody talk about a correlation of SIDS and vaccines.<br /><br />Hmmm.....Lisanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7716266031006082752.post-44517670434472178062013-09-02T10:18:36.716-04:002013-09-02T10:18:36.716-04:00Sorry it took me awhile to get back to you! We'...Sorry it took me awhile to get back to you! We're actually spreading them out over a few weeks. We still don't feel comfortable doing so many at once. We wanted to see how she would react to them. We're not doing a flu shot for either one of our kids, either. Our oldest one actually does better with the flu than the actual shot itself. The whole thing is very traumatic. I am glad that once this hurdle is over she won't need anymore until she starts kindergarten...Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06978106493173201688noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7716266031006082752.post-34825877194002909492013-09-02T01:33:08.940-04:002013-09-02T01:33:08.940-04:00I have a daughter and shes the love of my life.
I...I have a daughter and shes the love of my life.<br /><br />I cant even imagine loosing her. <br /><br />Im glad you made a book about coping with grief which would surely help parents on such tragic situations.<br />Fel on SIDShttp://mixinterest.com/home-and-family/protecting-your-baby-from-sids-sudden-infant-death-syndromenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7716266031006082752.post-68739698822305163112013-08-29T01:45:43.391-04:002013-08-29T01:45:43.391-04:00Are you doing the vax's on the same schedule n...Are you doing the vax's on the same schedule now? Or is it different? Doing them one by one etc? I delayed until two as well and well mine turns two next month and im not certain how I want to go about this. Jennyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13964282196898709053noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7716266031006082752.post-81669001549565817082013-08-25T00:38:52.713-04:002013-08-25T00:38:52.713-04:00It's true. I don't ask. I did try asking (...It's true. I don't ask. I did try asking (once) but I felt pathetic for it and ended up breaking down and crying. It felt worse than nobody doing nothing at all. Two days after his anniversary this year someone DID light a virtual candle for him without me asking. That, alone with this comments, was the best thing that happened. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06978106493173201688noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7716266031006082752.post-25126601932474555092013-08-24T21:10:58.087-04:002013-08-24T21:10:58.087-04:00I lost a child too. I know she doesn't need a ...I lost a child too. I know she doesn't need a reason. There are days, months and hours that are harder than others. You climb up to the top and fall back down. I understand being in the darkness. And yes, I agree, the squeaky wheel gets the oil. I begged for people to light candles for my kid. Nobody would have done it if I hadn't asked. Why would they?Abby Levisshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15748394086960661826noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7716266031006082752.post-53062727119268065002013-08-24T19:07:19.358-04:002013-08-24T19:07:19.358-04:00@Maxie's Mommy- I disagree to an extent. I don...@Maxie's Mommy- I disagree to an extent. I don't think she needs a "reason" to be feeling bad to miss her son or to be feeling bad. I think the reasons she listed in her blog entry are pretty justifiable enough. <br /><br />I lost my daughter 5 years ago next month to SIDS. I think my 3 year mark was by far the toughest of them all. I'm not sure what it was about the 3 year mark, but it hit me the hardest. Much tougher than the one year mark. I breezed through the second year. When I got to year 3 though, I could barely get out of bed. <br /><br />I also blogged for the first 3 years. And here is what I learned...<br /><br />The squeaky wheel gets the oil. <br /><br />I didn't understand why other people had hundreds of followers on Twitter and I had 10. Why I only had 15 followers on my blog, despite the fact that I blogged my heart out every day. Why other people had these huge SIDS runs and benefits and raised thousands of dollars yet not one single friend of mine even mentioned my daughter on the anniversary of her death. I just didn't get it. <br /><br />The fact was, I wasn't pushy either. I didn't hand out my blog address. I didn't comment on other blogs. I didn't sign up for directories. I didn't post my blog links anywhere. I didn't join any support groups. Unless you did a random Google search, you wouldn't even know I existed. My friends didn't comment on the day my daughter died because they didn't remember. If they thought about it, they MIGHT have remembered that it was "sometime in the fall." But they wouldn't have remembered that it was in early September, much less the date. I didn't remind them. I didn't talk about the date. <br /><br />I sat back and WAITED for people to come to me and mention it to me because I didn't want to be pushy about it. And they just didn't because they had their own lives and tragedies and dramas and eventually they moved on. I might have passed through their minds now and then, but without me being in their face all the time, they had no reason to think about me. <br /><br />It was a sad, sad fact to face. :-( <br /><br />Now, I just flit through the blogs as a ghost from time to time. I read about other people's journeys. I read about yours a LOT. I have stayed with you since the very beginning. I actually found your blog before your Toby died so I feel like I knew him a little bit. (I also had a placental abruption with my daughter.) <br /><br />I DO know how you feel. And it sucks. I am sorry. <br /><br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7716266031006082752.post-6418627306096572222013-08-24T14:32:08.128-04:002013-08-24T14:32:08.128-04:00Your son is no less important than anyone's ch...Your son is no less important than anyone's child. Of course. I am sorry you are feeling ignored. And, I think that your grief is at the surface because you've worked so hard on your book. You said it really brought up a lot of feelings that you hadn't felt in a while. Abby Levisshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15748394086960661826noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7716266031006082752.post-69019540854539447242013-08-23T02:02:49.908-04:002013-08-23T02:02:49.908-04:00Its a bunch of crap. I feel the same way. I haven...Its a bunch of crap. I feel the same way. I haven't had people delete me and if they did good riddance. That's just ridiculous. <br />they don't just stop being because they are not here. I have a few people who I know will come to a balloon release at the cemetery. I was willing to do it completely by myself with my kids. I'm sorry and its ok to be pissed. Jennyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13964282196898709053noreply@blogger.com