On Memorial Day we were finally able to see the headstone. I think it turned out beautifully and it matches Nana’s next to his so that’s good. We need to go back up there and plant some grass seed and lay down some top soil. I think the ground has settled all that it’s going to at this point.
It was nice to have the family there while we were there but I think it bothered Pete a little bit. For my family, visiting the cemetery is a social occasion and there’s lots of laughing, posing for pictures, and general socializing. Since we had not seen the headstone yet, though, that private act was kind of taken away a little bit but maybe it made it a little better, too. I don’t know.
What struck me was that Sam played on Toby’s grave with a new dump truck. It’s the closest he will ever get to playing with his brother and that made me sad.
Mom and Sam took flowers, as did Uncle Ray and Aunt Fran. Everyone else took pictures and commented on how nice it looked. Dad had left some flowers, too, and Aunt Carol but I didn’t see them because we got there too late. It hurt my feelings that the other side of Toby’s family has not sent flowers or anything but oh well. What can you do? His grave was definitely not lacking color or decorations.
I’ve been thinking a lot about him lately. We are having a little birthday party for him next month because he would have been one year old. I wonder what he would have been like. What he would have looked like. I think about these things a lot.