Sunday, May 20, 2012

Deleting a post

If you clicked on here today thinking you were going to read a post about subsequent children and didn't find it, it's because I deleted it. I normally don't mind that much if people don't agree with me, but I was afraid that entry might make some people mad. The amount of support I get seems to be dependent upon whether people agree with me about something or not. One entry and one instance of disagreement and they disappear. Since I am getting my brain operated on in a week I really didn't want the extra stress of an online argument.

I think it's suffice to say that I handle Toby's passing where Iris is concerned a little differently than some of the parents I know who have gone on to have subsequent children. Although I don't judge how they do it, I was afraid I would inadvertently offend someone who might be sensitive to that kind of thing. 

3 comments:

Groves said...

The amount of support I get seems to be dependent upon whether people agree with me about something or not. One entry and one instance of disagreement and they disappear.

*****

I am sad if people place you in so tight a place, so unwilling for your thoughts to be separate from theirs. It seems something to celebrate, the other-ness of humans (especially kind humans...the nasty ones can keep their thoughts to themselves, or so we wish).

Do you ever feel like this?

Sometimes I stop commenting because I feel I am treading on sacred ground.

It is not nothing to say, but feeling so acutely that saying too much (even supportive words) can sometimes be worse. It is a weird kind of strangled.

I don't mean that I have ever felt that way here. Just in general; I start to fear that I am "talking too much" by keyboard, and that shuts up the words.

It typically has very little to do with what a post does or does not say, or with the level of agreement. I do not mind reading thoughts that are not my own. I expect them.

Maybe no one else feels this...

But I so appreciate your thought-painting. Your other-ness is fine and dandy by me, whatever shape it may take.

Cathy in Missouri

Rebecca said...

I agree with you. Sometimes, I don't comment because I so completely agree with what the person is saying, and their openness is so overwhelming, that to comment just feels...trite, or something. Like, what more could I possibly add to that?

You bring up a very good point about how supportive words can even be worse at times. That's such a funny concept to most but it's true and I appreciate that someone else understands that.

I enjoy all comments though here! Well, you know, except for the bad ones. :-)

Groves said...

"Sometimes, I don't comment because I so completely agree with what the person is saying, and their openness is so overwhelming, that to comment just feels...trite, or something. Like, what more could I possibly add to that?"

Perfect. Exactly.

You said it,

Cathy in Missouri