Monday, June 11, 2012

If you don't like it...

The funny thing about blogs is that if you don't like what they have to say then you don't have to read them.

I might not feel the same way that you do or make the same decisions that you do or even be on the same wavelength as you. But I sure as hell have the right to write about MY feelings and thoughts. I am entitled to mine just the same as you are to yours. I probably don't understand what you're writing about half the time and can't comisserate with you but I certainly respect your right to feel that way and I would never argue that you are wrong.

Unfortunately, I am not the only parent who has ever lost a child. There are a lot of us out there. We all deal with things in different ways. I try to be open minded about other people's grief. It's not fair to be hypocritical, though. You can't complain that nobody understands you and nobody listens to you and people ignore you and don't respect you and then throw the same thing at another grieving parent. This isn't a contest about who hurts the most, who is grieving the hardest, and whose loss is worst. Who the hell would want to win such a contest if there was one?



PS-I don't know why people are intent on writing me hateful messages. I am glad I have comment moderation turned on with this blog. It helps keep some of the bad stuff out anyway. 

5 comments:

Becca said...

So sorry you even have to deal with this crap. You are doing everything it takes to keep your child safe - having somebody awake with the baby 24/7 is incredible! It doesn't get a whole lot safer than that. You obviously love your babies and want the best for them. It's sick that anyone would write you hateful messages because of that.

Rebecca said...

I think a lot of people just have too much time on their hands. I don't care what people do-just don't try to make me feel bad for not doing it your way. It doesn't mean I care less or that I am hurting less.

The joys of the internet...where any faceless, random person can make any heartless, stupid comment they want without any retribution...

I always use my name when I write things because I never write anything that I wouldn't stand behind. The anonymous people are the ones that know they're saying something wrong-that's why they hide behind monikers.

Susan said...

I can't do it either - there should be a graduate class in it. How to ignore idiots on the internet.

I really can't see how anyone has a problem with what you say. You have lost a child in tragic circumstances, and you're struggling away, doing your best. You're not saying others should do it like you do. You're not making outlandish claims. You're just describing how you're getting through. There is nothing to argue with.

I think the real problem with it - is that people don't get the enormity of the central thing. They read your blog - they listen to you - but they don't really understand what it means to lose a child.

I had a "blind play date" yesterday with a mum I met through a grief forum. She lost her daughter 8 months after Catherine died, and has an 18mth old. I'm sure we're quite different as parents and as people - but that really didn't matter. It was just so easy to do baby stuff with someone who got it.

That was a long-winded way of saying, it's not you - it's them. So sorry you are attracting idiots - the very last thing you need x

Nan & Mike said...

I completely agree with you. Sorry you have had to deal with anything like this, its not right. I recently wrote a similar post. big hugs xoxoxo Nan

Rebecca said...

Thanks, Nan. I am heading over to pay your blog a visit now...