Monday, June 10, 2013


I have been writing a book about SIDS. I am calling it THE ANTI GUIDE TO SIDS AND INFANT LOSS. That title might change prior to publication. It will be out sometime this summer.
Of course, it has a lot of my personal experiences in there but I spent more than a year interviewing my friends and other people I knew who have lost infants to get their experiences as well. It's been hard. I know it's been hard on them answering the questions, it's been hard on me asking them the questions, and it's been hard on everyone reliving those experiences.

I am in a good place now. That doesn't mean that I don't still feel angry or upset or really, really sad a lot though. I do. But reliving some of the things that have's like I'm right back there in that time all over again. I've had to stop and take long breaks here and there and put the manuscript away so that I won't fall back into the depression again.Even reliving other people's experiences has been hard. I feel like I am right there with them.

I remember that about two years after I lost Toby the online forum I belong to branched off. Some of the older members started a Facebook page that was really geared for those parents who had been grieving for awhile. They said that it was hard to keep meeting the new parents over and over again because it took them right back to the beginning and made them feel as though they hadn't progressed in their grief. When I first heard that I kind of thought that was mean. Now I understand it a whole lot more.

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