I was contacted by the International Chiari Association and asked to become a regular columnist for them. The contract is for a year and I will be writing one column per month. I think it's an exciting opportunity and I really look forward to helping raise awareness and education about this medical condition.
So that's something good that has come out of this mess anyway!
I continue to keep updates about my surgery over on my Chiari blog. You can find it here: http://beckschiari.blogspot.com/
This morning was bad. Sorry to rant. I don't get defensive about too many things, but I DO get defensive when it comes to the way I raise my kids and the way I grieve. I don't believe in making other grieving parents feel bad about the choices they make, even I don't understand them. And this isn't some kind of race or contest. So to sign on and read something rude and hateful from someone who chooses to make different decisions in regards to their grief but then goes on to criticize mine unnerved me. I had followed that person's blog from afar for awhile and was getting a little uncomfortable by it and had pretty much stopped commenting months ago. For them to lash out at me and try to make me feel bad was uncalled for. I try to remind myself that they are at a different stage than I am, but no matter where they are in their grief it's never okay to lash out at another grieving parent, especially when you're feeling abandoned and upset yourself. There's not a lot of support for us out there-the last thing we need to do is fight amongst ourselves.
So that's something good that has come out of this mess anyway!
I continue to keep updates about my surgery over on my Chiari blog. You can find it here: http://beckschiari.blogspot.com/
This morning was bad. Sorry to rant. I don't get defensive about too many things, but I DO get defensive when it comes to the way I raise my kids and the way I grieve. I don't believe in making other grieving parents feel bad about the choices they make, even I don't understand them. And this isn't some kind of race or contest. So to sign on and read something rude and hateful from someone who chooses to make different decisions in regards to their grief but then goes on to criticize mine unnerved me. I had followed that person's blog from afar for awhile and was getting a little uncomfortable by it and had pretty much stopped commenting months ago. For them to lash out at me and try to make me feel bad was uncalled for. I try to remind myself that they are at a different stage than I am, but no matter where they are in their grief it's never okay to lash out at another grieving parent, especially when you're feeling abandoned and upset yourself. There's not a lot of support for us out there-the last thing we need to do is fight amongst ourselves.
3 comments:
Yuck...I am sorry. It's bad enough when anyone tries to make us feel bad. Somehow worse when it comes from another grieving parent.
Excited you got a column - how helpful for all involved. I agree with you and Abby on expecting more from people who are also grieving. I think in most cases it is because these are the people that really do help us. For me, the people that have provided the most support have all lost either a child or someone else they were close to (out of the "normal" range of loss). It sounds good that this is someone you have distanced yourself from, you are right - we can choose what to read and who to interact with.
I try to keep in mind that others who are grieving are also just people, too. The thing that bonds us together is the death of our children. That doesn't always have to make us friends. :-)
But then, I meet people like you two and I figure that I would have liked you anyway, even if we didn't share tragedies like we do and that just makes it even better.
I need to work on lowering my expectations of people. Does that sound bad?
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