Friday, June 22, 2012

Visiting other blogs

I feel horrible and things are just getting worse. I don't want to neglect the blog, though, so let's check in on some other folks. I know you can find all of their links here at the side of my blog, but sometimes it's good to get personal.

One of the best things about blogging is finding other people and realizing that you're not crazy and that your experiences and feelings, though sad and painful, are not monstrously bizarre. It gives me comfort to read other grief blogs and know that I am not alone in feeling angry, sad, frustrated, overwhelmed, and upset. From time to time, we all get attacked and get made to feel like there is something wrong with us. Finding a small, even online, group of people who you can commiserate with and connect with is important.

Maxie's Mama: Sometimes, I feel like we are going through the same experiences, just about a year apart. Not one to mince words or feelings, I wish I had found a blog like hers when I first started out. When I think that my blog is a little TOO personal and raw, I think about how connected I feel when I read her blog and it reminds me that there might just be someone out there who can take a little bit of comfort from mine, like I do from her's. Our babies died exactly one month and one year apart. Her subsequent child, Baby M, is due right around Iris and Toby's birthday. Although she is going through a LOT right now, she still took the time to send me soup after my surgery.

Crazy Widow: We have different griefs, but it's like one of us is taking the gravel road and the other dirt road and ending up at the same destination and seeing similar sights along the way.

Remembering the Triplets: Nan lost her triplets too soon. You might have seen her pop up on here a time or two. In her most recent blog entry, she talks about time passing, changing, and how everything still feels like a rollercoaster at times. For those of us grieving, we learn to live with the way that things are now, but it doesn't make our grief any less. Sometimes, I think of my grief and sadness like an extra arm or a leg-you learn how to move with it, but it doesn't go away.

Susan's Sob Spot: One of my other online BFFs...Our experiences are not the same, either, but sometimes the feelings are universal. I feel a special bond with her because my son was the same age when Toby died that her daughter was when she passed away. I put myself in her shoes a lot and even though our children were different ages, I feel connected to her. Her latest entry talks about child loss and miscarriages, something I've spent a lot of time thinking about myself.

This Mama's Journey: Denise lost her child to SIDS and then had 3 miscarriages. She continues to parent through grief and is expecting a baby as well.

Jayden's Memories: Like Toby, Jayden passed away when he was less than six months old. His mother is also expecting a subsequent baby. Being pregnant and still grieving has to be one of the hardest things in the world.


Jayden's Mommy said...

Its true actually your blog was the first one I ever found and it has helped me many times to know I'm not crazy. Our sons were almost the same age. And we both have living children. There are so many connections with different ones. I just been so down that I get so sad and as you know when u have preschoolers you just can't spend the day sobbing. Thank You, Rebecca.

Susan said...

Big hug to you - was just thinking about you - as I was publishing today's blog, and in a hurry as I have visitors I am ignoring (blush)... so dashing ... but thank you for this - will have to check out the other blogs. I do think you're right. I started off trying to write to explain to non-bereaved people how I felt - but I realise now, it only makes them defensive and cross - and they don't get it. I don't think they ever will - however well I explain it. xx

Rebecca said...

I didn't want you to think that I had left your blog out...I got sick about halfway into writing that entry and didn't get to finish it. I'm going to add to it when I can get back on longer. I am glad you found me and wanted to let you know that I also follow your blog and am happy that I met you, just sad it had to be under these circumstances.