Saturday, November 24, 2012


Why does my father-in-law continue to harass my husband? How can a parent be so hateful and downright mean to their own child? Why?

I am having trouble tonight wrapping my head around this. It pisses me off that my son died and yet he feels totally entitled to treat HIS son like shit. We do all the right things. We ignore the hateful text messages, don't give out our address, and ignore it...but I WANT to fight back. I want to be just as mean as he is. The rage I feel over the things he says and does is indescribable. I know it's not healthy and most of the time I try not to think about it, but it infuriates me.

It also enrages me that Toby's death is linked to this madness. I think I could at least overlook some of the things that have been said to me and Pete, but I can't forgive (or forget) the fact that my son's death was considered non-important and that my surviving children are equally unimportant. Although he can spout off hateful messages and condemn us, not once has he ever acknowledged Iris' existence, asked about Sam, or made any reference to them. But he can sure take the time out of his busy day to be mean.

I know we're not supposed to say that we hate people, but there aren't any other words that come close to describing how I feel about this person. I struggle with what to tell the kids once they're old enough to ask questions.

surrogate grandpa
I guess to end it on a positive note, our friend Ashley has really stepped up his game as surrogate grandpa. We see him just about every week. He plays with them, holds their hands, and giggles with them. He sends them letters and notes and signs them "papaw." Sam thinks that his farm is our second home. Most of the time, that makes up for the other nonsense.

little man

little miss likes our new house


Jayden's Mommy said...

Im sorry Rebecca is really unfair how some of the family can be like that. But the love and smiles of your children helps to endure the crazyness. We stay away from the family that its like that. Im sorry again.

Rebecca Patrick-Howard said...

People's bullshit never ceases to amaze me.