Anti-Guide to Infant Loss is released!

As of yesterday, Saturday the 13th, my book entitled Coping with Grief: The Anti-Guide to Infant Loss is now available for purchase. You can find the link below.

I am excited about this book for several reasons. For one thing, I really tried to make it as comprehensive as possible. From getting the news to dealing with a subsequent pregnancy and making burial plans I tried to include a little bit of everything. I included my own personal experiences but I also interviewed a lot of my infant loss friends and got their stories as well. You'll find about a dozen firsthand experiences from mothers who lost infants from SIDS, accidents, and illnesses. Some of their experiences were vastly different than mine but there was always something relatable about their stories.

Before it was published I sent a few friends copies of the book and had them read it to get their honest opinions about it. That made me nervous as hell. It was also really emotional. For some of us it was hard to remember how we felt in those early months, or even the first year, so we had to consult our diaries, journals, and blogs. That triggered a lot of our old feelings and there was a period of time that was really hard on all of us, I think. I know that as I was writing this I sometimes found myself feeling sad and depressed in a way that I haven't felt in a year or more. I felt like I wasn't just reliving my own child's death, but my friends' deaths as well.

This is the table of contents. If you click on the book cover below you'll also be taken to the Amazon site.

Introduction.. 1

What You Might Expect After Losing Your Infant. 11

Getting the News. 14

Telling Everyone. 25

Dealing with Authorities. 38

Religion.. 45

Coming Home. 51

The Funeral and Burial 58

Finding Support. 75

Going Back to Work. 96

Marriage and Partnerships. 103

Making Contact. 115

Pretending to be Normal 127

All the Baby Stuff. 140

The New and Totally Unofficial Stages of Grief. 147

Hurting Ourselves. 154

Dealing with Other People. 167

Cemetery Visits. 188

The 6^th Month Meltdown.. 195

How Society Treats Us. 206

Clinical Things. 216

Social Media. 220

The Parallel Universe. 226

The Rainbow Pregnancy. 243

Letting it Out. 265

Things Not to Say or Do to a Grieving Parent. 272

FAQ About Grief and Child Loss. 282

Toby’s Story. 290

Helpful Websites & Resources. 303

Acknowledgements. 311

About Me

. 313