Sunday, August 25, 2013

Why Didn't You Write Me On Toby's Anniversary?

In an alternate universe, I sat down last Wednesday night, drank half a quart of moonshine, smoked a joint, took my clothes off, propped my legs up on my desk, and at approximately 2:45 am, sat down at my computer and composed the following letter in various forms and nuances and sent it out to nearly everyone I knew and went to bed.

Dear____,

Three years ago my son died. Earlier today, I heard from my former boss (whom I only recently got back in touch with after years of having zero contact with) and she said that she hoped my day was filled with "lots of support". Well, to be honest, it wasn't. In fact, I continue to be surprised by the people that I DO hear from.

So I am assuming that the reason I didn't hear from you was due to one of four reasons:

a) a life threatening emergency kept you from the computer/ phone
b) you were afraid that bringing him up might remind me that he's still dead
c) you just didn't remember
d) since I don't comment on any of your political crap you're certainly not going to lower yourself to comment on anything of mine


So let's go over them...

a. Considering that throughout the day you posted approximately 11 Grumpy Cat pictures, 3 music videos, and 3 anti-Obama rants I am assuming that nothing is wrong with your internet connection. At least one of them showed that you posted it from your mobile phone so I must also assume that your cell phone connection is working as well.

b. Thank you for your thoughtful consideration but I can assure you that I am quite aware that he is still still dead.

c. Yes, that is a distinct possibility. I didn't post a countdown this year. I didn't make a big deal out of it. I know that some people do. I don't. And, it is true, that I probably didn't remember your kid's birthday this year either. So there IS that. Now we're even. But at some point it was mentioned and I am sure you saw it. If not that day then at least the next. Or the next.

d. And now we're REALLY even. Well done, you!

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